Another Testimony of His Love

It's been the longest time since I've had the fortune to sit down in front of my computer and write down a note on Facebook. I believe the last time was during the aftermath of my breakup with my ex-girlfriend; a friendship I am still grieved that crumbled down to the ground. Yet, out of the ashes of something dark came a renewed passion for the Lord and my relationship with Him. Praise Him for His greatness. Well, semester one at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary (the undergraduate program) came and went, and even though I miss the Moody Bible Institute and all of the aspects that are included in those three words, God has been most gracious with me with blessing me with a job, new friends, and great professors. I am currently enrolled in the Biblical Studies program and just finished taking a summer class on Baptist History. Depending upon the final grade I receive in that class, I hope by the fall semester I will be a junior. Hopefully, only 2 years left until I get the opportunity to walk with a degree. Just one more step closer to actual, vocational minstry God's love has been made much more real to me in the past several semesters than ever before. What I feel I used to take for granted I now much more appreciate these days whenever loneliness seeps in and despair crawls into the bed of security. All around me I feel people are getting married faster than any fast food line you can wait in for your food to just "pop" out, I ponder on what the Lord has in store for me, especially when I don't even have a girlfriend. I feel that within the past year or so, God has seemingly demolished the plans I pre-planned for my life. The school I thought I would be going to I am no longer attending; the security job that would've done a great job in providing for me while going to school I no longer have; and the girlfriend I thought that would be going through this time in my life with me is now getting married to another man soon, though I do not know what date. Out of all of this that has happened, since the start of this semester, I've had many battles with myself. Anger over wrongs people have done against me; jealousy after comparing my life with others, discontent with where God has me, and most importantly, being so unsure on why the Lord would send me back to Texas for my undergraduate studies. At times, I would stay up in the bedroom of my apartment and just look up at the ceiling wondering about what God is going to send in/take away from my life next...and it was in those moments where I found sweet solace in prayer. Despite the battles I went through this semester, I have felt God's grace indirectly through the people He has bringing into my life. For example, I PRAISE THE LORD for my roommates Adam Kent (a man the lovely Crystal Knorpp will have the fortune to marry soon!) and Matt Amend and their influence on me in many ways. Both have rubbed off on me, due to their activities they developed a semester before I moved in, and now I'm used to waking up early in the morning to have a nice time in the Bible with the Lord, as well as a nice time of prayer. Adam in particular has been a vehicle, I feel, God has used to show me the depths of not only my sin, but immaturities about myself that I need to conquer before I can call myself a man of God with a heart after His heart. Truly, while I am happy for Adam's upcoming marriage, I am going to miss seeing the guy a lot in the apartment. Courtney Caddel had been another encouraging influence in my life this past semester. She happens to be Joseph's new "lucky" lady in his life, and I don't know whether it’s her personality, mine, or a combination of both of ours', but our friendship is almost akin to the friendship Joseph and me share. Joseph and her met through Christian Mingle, and after an "x" amount of months together, she is now going to our church and beginning to be active in leadership and discipleship of the young girls in the church. Despite her busy life and relationship with my good friend, she is always free to pick up a call from me and talk with me whenever something troublesome has been going on in my life. In a sense, she is almost like the big sister I never had. The most important thing God has taught me during this season in my life is this: His love is the only thing I, or anyone else, can ever be fully secured in. While others may fail us, including our most precious people in our lives, God will never fail us. While the love of others can drain over time, God's love is everlasting and will not fade. His love isn't based on feeling or emotions that come and go, nor is it based on "compatibility" or that "spark of mutual interest," like most normal relationships. No, our relationship with Him is something so much more interesting! The gifts that He's given me (friends, a job, a family, opportunities to serve, etc.) are just a testimony of His love for me, and I praise Him so much for Him being my shield in the battlefield we all know as Life. Holy Father, You are indeed holy; great and mighty. I praise Your for Your mercy, love, and compassion for me. I lift up praises to you as a testimony of my gratefulness to who You are in my life. Lord God, my only prayer right now is that during this time in my life, that You would continue to turn me into the man that You want me to be; a selfless servant, looking out for the needs of others; as well as a disciplined man, turning his head away from sin and the temptation to walk away from Your ordinances. Allow me to meditate on who You are more in the days to come, so that others may know where, or in this case, Who I get my strength from. Thank you for for your Word, that I may know You, and may I ever still live by it... ...Even though every day we live through is just another example of your love for us, thank you for just another testimony of your love!" "Grace be with all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with love incorruptible." (Ephesians 6:24)