"Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit..." (Matthew 28:19).
With full knowledge of finals ahead of me and much studying to be done, I would like to ramble on about something a little more interesting than what TCC has to throw at me before I fly off to Moody: decipleship. I believe it was John MacArthur who said that decipleship was even more important than evangelism. Reason is is that if you can blast out the Gospel to everyone in the world, terrific, yet if you can work in the life of even one individual, pouring all your knowledge and self into that person, you've done something so amazing. MacArthur used the term "making copies of yourself." Chip Ingram once said in his book, "Good to Great in God's Eyes" that one of the key marks of a great Christian is that he or she pursues great people. To illustrate this, he adds that every Christian needs at least one "Paul"(a teacher), one "Barnabas"(a comrade or partner), and one "Timothy"(a deciple). I mean, Elijah had his Elisha and Paul had his Timothy. Even our Lord invested most of His time in 12 ordinary men in a span of three years than all of the Jews in Galilee combined. So what about you? Where's your "Timothy"?
Ironic, because as I'm sitting in this chair of mine, typing this all up, I am quickly reminded of how much of a "Timothy" I am to MY very own "Paul". Fortunate for me I will be having the privilige of rooming with him for one semester. My "Paul" taught me evangelism and has introduced so many new Christian concepts in my life since then. It feels like he has paved the way for me all this time, from going to TCC, meeting up with the leaders of Campus Crusade for Christ, and introducing myself to the old members of CSM, to now Moody. I feel so honored to have met him and wish to bask in his shadow for as long as I can, allowing him to continue to teach me new things for as long as I have him in my life. What's even more ironic is how much decipleship of my very own "Timothys" have occured. I am now their own "Paul", assuming the position of a teacher and role model to them, just as Joseph is to me.
Jon and Seth Durant I met after my February trip to Moody, before I even knew I was accepted. Their sister, Lindsey, is such an amazing sister of whom I have had the privilige to at least spend time with her for the week I was up there. After that trip, Lindsey's mom invited me over for a Sunday luncheon at their house. Little did I know, Tracie had been looking for a decipler for her boys, and her knowing I was an "expert evangelist" (using Jon's words), she jumped at the idea of me meeting her boys in addition to the family. Previously Lindsey has taken them out to evangelize so they were no stranger to sharing their faith, although they were, and still are, grand projects under construction.
It has been 2 months since I met the Durant family and I must say, Jon and Seth have made great strides in evangelism during the time I have spent with them. Devouring the Way of the Matser dvds I had lend them, they always feel it necessary to share with me encounters they have had the previous day or so at Walmart, or at school with their classmates and friends when it came to talking to them about the Gospel. Seth is the one who is homeschooled while Jon attends public school, yet being in 8th grade and doing what took me years later to learn already...sometimes I feel I am training what could possibly be the founders of the Neo-Navigators. If one were to just observe how these boys, let alone any of the Durant boys, look, talk, or even act around me, one would see admiration oozing from their eyeballs, and it is because of this realization I marvel. They have literally put me upon the "teacher pedastal" the same way I have put my respective "Paul" on his in my own life. Therefore, I fear ever erring in speech or conduct around them. I wish to continue to grow them into a spiritual copy of me, so that when I am gone, they may carry on the work of the Lord.
Jon and Seth are but two interesting aspects of my current life, and for me to leave out Crystal would be a grave mistake on my part. Crystal Knorpp I met in my senior year at Fossil Ridge. She was a junior at the time, and the girlfriend of one of my good buddies (still is). I had just endured constant training in evangelism from Joseph and now was taking what I had learned and applied it in my spare time in public school. Crystal was not at all thrilled seeing me do what I did. Though she was a Christian, she thought what I did was detestable and offensive beyond belief. Though we were friends (a bond that actually took very slowly to form) we had what I called a "sparky" relationship, always headbutting on whether or not what I did was "Jesus-like" or not. Yet around March of this year, she had expressed an interest in what I did (a miraculous change of heart if one were to know what kind of conversations were held between the two of us). Taking her out to Southlake Townsquare has been a privilige, as she has now recieved my passion for the Lost. Praise God Almighty, who is able to change the hearts of men and women! Crystal is now doing in my old high school what she hated seeing me do. Everytime we go out to Southlake she is always quick to spot out groups of people and tell me, "We should talk to them Nick!" I love her so much and praise God for this miracle of a change of heart.
I must admit, decipleship is a hard lesson to learn. Evangelism is my forte, but decipleship is another ball-park. Not in the least sense complaining, but remarking how accountable I am to at least these three comrades of mine. If I stumble, they are their to see it. If I curse or swear, they will be there to hear it. I cannot wait what the Lord has in store for these three, and hopefully God will continue to use me in their lives even if I am states apart from them all.
"But you know of his [Timothy] proven worth, that he served with me in the furtherance of the gospel like a child serving his father..." (Philippians 2:22).
Friday, April 30, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Paving The Road For God's Messenger
Heart-beating fast...sweat running down my face...a yell that shatters the mosaic silence of the night...This was the time God began to teach me that I was commissioned by Him to preach His Word
It's been about 2 years now since I started to evangelize the world. From the hot, hot summers out in Watauga, Texas to the chilly climate of Chicago in February, my outreach has been steadily gaining speed as time moves forward. Facing opposition from even fellow church-goers (dealing with accusations of me being too "direct, offensive, and personal" in evangelism) hasn't stalled my outreach for one second. In fact, it has only pushed me on further. Now...to explain the "climactic-like" introduction to what the reader just read. I do not normally share what exactly pushed me to pursue evangelism, due to fears of claims of insanity being hurled at me, yet as I am sitting in front of my screen right now, THIS particular night happened to be the night which turned my world upside-down when it came to God poking a hole inside that space I call "my comfort zone."
To start off, it was about 7 months into my new life in Him when I first started thinking about evangelism. Leaving the comfortable, Christian environment of the Colorado trip in 2007 I just KNEW I had to do just something with the news about Christ, yet I chose not to do anything for a plethora of reasons all sprouting out from personal fear. Reading chapters like Matthew 28 and Luke 24 didn't convince me right on the spot. I was stubborn in my way of thinking and hardened my heart to God's command for all Christians to spread the Gospel to all nations and peoples. Then one night, God finally got my attention...
To this day I do not have a single clue what woke me up, but I do remember awaking to one of the biggest anxiety attacks I had ever faced! It was around 4:00 on a Saturday morning when I awoke with an extreme urge to learn just how I need to share my faith. My heart was beating fast and I remember I was really startled, but what scared me the most was a voice in my head, a voice that said that I needed to learn how to evangelize or that my mother would be taken away from me...Details are very vague for me to remember but I do remember praying to God not to take my mother away from me. I was 17 at the time and I had never felt so threatened in the comforts of my own home before, let alone my bedroom. Whether that was God trying to break down the 50-foot wall around my heart that stopped me from submitting to Him or it was Satan attacking me, knowing that by myself I would never begin evangelizing and played around with that by attacking my heart, I do not know. All I did know was that I needed to pray right then and there for protection from these threats and that my mother would be ok.
The rest of that day proved to be very interesting indeed. My church was holding a Men's Breakfast several hours later, and just when I was about to get a second helping of coffee for my eggs, hashbrowns, and sausage, Pastor John spoke up, "Today, we're going to talk about one of the most important imperatives a Christian must follow through with: evangelism." I literally stopped dead in front of the coffee pot with my mouth opened...I couldn't believe what I just heard. The rest of John's message was just about that...evangelism! Suddenly I began praying what I believe I should've prayed in my room hours before I came to my church that morning: "God, teach me how to be an evangelist." That exact prayer caused me to find myself doing what I never had thought I would ever do, and that was going up to random people in my school, and talking to them about Christ. Granted, I was real inexperienced, and these days I would NEVER try to defend how I shared my faith way back when. I needed a teacher, and God knew about that...which is why I am confident He brought Joseph into my life.
As mentioned earlier I had been attending Cornerstone Bible Church for 7 months now. I had gotten really close to the youth of the church, Matthew Edwards (the youth leader at the time), and just the people in general, but it is very funny how I never got to know Joseph Schmidt. I knew ABOUT Him with his habit of going to Downtown Fort Worth and doing something called "open air preaching," but never asked him what that was exactly. Another funny thing is that whenever people ask me how we met, truthfully I tell them I have no clue. Whether I went up to him personally or vice-versa, I remember him giving me his card with a Gospel presentation on the back (my first experience with a Gospel tract) and told me to call his phone number that was found on the card if I was still interested in evangelizing with him. I followed up with him on that offer and together we drove to his usual, Saturday-night "fishing spot" where I got my very first experience with evangelism. Truthfully a frightening experience, as one of the fellow "preachers" were threatened by a heckler, claiming he was going to go home, get some of his friends, and bring their guns to kill him. Though scary as it was, seeing Joseph preach with all confidence filled me with so much admiration for the man. I soon WANTED to be like him and have his confidence. So that night followed into a routine, over the-summer schedule of Joseph picking me up from my house 2-3 times every week, driving over to Capp Smith Park, and him instructing me in open air preaching. To help me out more, Joseph introduced me to Way of the Master, where I literally devoured all the dvds he had lent me to watch. By the end of that summer, my boldness grew tremendously and any fears I had about evangelism lessened. Looking back, that particular summer would probably be the most profitable one I had ever experienced in my life...and when it was time for that summer to draw to a close, I felt God, through Joseph, had equipped me tremendously for the work he had in store for me.
So far, I believe this post was the most fun post I had the privilege to type up. Since the beginning of this post I knew I had to recount, chronologically, how God had transformed me from a shy, introverted Christian, to now a fire-breathing evangelist. Taking with me all the evangelistic experience I had aquired over that summer into my senior year at Fossil Ridge High School, I began my year with a loud "BANG!" My routine all year was to go to school either super early or stay after school super late just talking to people about sin, Hell, righteousness, Jesus, grace, repentance, and faith in Christ alone for salvation. By the end of that year I had garnered, by God's grace, a reputation for being a Christian evangelist by mostly every group and clique in the school it seemed like. I rejoiced that people I never really hung out with knew about me because of what I did, even if they heckled me a bit as I walked to my car! After graduating high school, I entered TCC where my repuation followed as I had done some campus evangelism. Right now, I am leading a group of evangelists to Southlake Townsquare every Saturday night, the group being comprised of people whether I am either decipling or who has had experience in evangelism, and just a few weeks ago I got a call from Joseph saying that Student Outreach Leadership had unanimously voted me into leadership for my first year up at Moody!
The road has been paved for me already and I am excited to be used by God to walk down this road and spread His Word. As I look back in time to where I was in that pit of depression, and where I am now, I praise God that I am now an ambassador of Christ. This post, as well as the previous two, were for the purpose of establishing backround information on Nick Romero, and allowing the reader to get a glimpse into my heart as merely a sinner saved by grace. I can't end on a better note as I am thinking about Philippians 3, which describes my new heart so so perfectly. There, Paul writes, "Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus" (3:12-14).
It's been about 2 years now since I started to evangelize the world. From the hot, hot summers out in Watauga, Texas to the chilly climate of Chicago in February, my outreach has been steadily gaining speed as time moves forward. Facing opposition from even fellow church-goers (dealing with accusations of me being too "direct, offensive, and personal" in evangelism) hasn't stalled my outreach for one second. In fact, it has only pushed me on further. Now...to explain the "climactic-like" introduction to what the reader just read. I do not normally share what exactly pushed me to pursue evangelism, due to fears of claims of insanity being hurled at me, yet as I am sitting in front of my screen right now, THIS particular night happened to be the night which turned my world upside-down when it came to God poking a hole inside that space I call "my comfort zone."
To start off, it was about 7 months into my new life in Him when I first started thinking about evangelism. Leaving the comfortable, Christian environment of the Colorado trip in 2007 I just KNEW I had to do just something with the news about Christ, yet I chose not to do anything for a plethora of reasons all sprouting out from personal fear. Reading chapters like Matthew 28 and Luke 24 didn't convince me right on the spot. I was stubborn in my way of thinking and hardened my heart to God's command for all Christians to spread the Gospel to all nations and peoples. Then one night, God finally got my attention...
To this day I do not have a single clue what woke me up, but I do remember awaking to one of the biggest anxiety attacks I had ever faced! It was around 4:00 on a Saturday morning when I awoke with an extreme urge to learn just how I need to share my faith. My heart was beating fast and I remember I was really startled, but what scared me the most was a voice in my head, a voice that said that I needed to learn how to evangelize or that my mother would be taken away from me...Details are very vague for me to remember but I do remember praying to God not to take my mother away from me. I was 17 at the time and I had never felt so threatened in the comforts of my own home before, let alone my bedroom. Whether that was God trying to break down the 50-foot wall around my heart that stopped me from submitting to Him or it was Satan attacking me, knowing that by myself I would never begin evangelizing and played around with that by attacking my heart, I do not know. All I did know was that I needed to pray right then and there for protection from these threats and that my mother would be ok.
The rest of that day proved to be very interesting indeed. My church was holding a Men's Breakfast several hours later, and just when I was about to get a second helping of coffee for my eggs, hashbrowns, and sausage, Pastor John spoke up, "Today, we're going to talk about one of the most important imperatives a Christian must follow through with: evangelism." I literally stopped dead in front of the coffee pot with my mouth opened...I couldn't believe what I just heard. The rest of John's message was just about that...evangelism! Suddenly I began praying what I believe I should've prayed in my room hours before I came to my church that morning: "God, teach me how to be an evangelist." That exact prayer caused me to find myself doing what I never had thought I would ever do, and that was going up to random people in my school, and talking to them about Christ. Granted, I was real inexperienced, and these days I would NEVER try to defend how I shared my faith way back when. I needed a teacher, and God knew about that...which is why I am confident He brought Joseph into my life.
As mentioned earlier I had been attending Cornerstone Bible Church for 7 months now. I had gotten really close to the youth of the church, Matthew Edwards (the youth leader at the time), and just the people in general, but it is very funny how I never got to know Joseph Schmidt. I knew ABOUT Him with his habit of going to Downtown Fort Worth and doing something called "open air preaching," but never asked him what that was exactly. Another funny thing is that whenever people ask me how we met, truthfully I tell them I have no clue. Whether I went up to him personally or vice-versa, I remember him giving me his card with a Gospel presentation on the back (my first experience with a Gospel tract) and told me to call his phone number that was found on the card if I was still interested in evangelizing with him. I followed up with him on that offer and together we drove to his usual, Saturday-night "fishing spot" where I got my very first experience with evangelism. Truthfully a frightening experience, as one of the fellow "preachers" were threatened by a heckler, claiming he was going to go home, get some of his friends, and bring their guns to kill him. Though scary as it was, seeing Joseph preach with all confidence filled me with so much admiration for the man. I soon WANTED to be like him and have his confidence. So that night followed into a routine, over the-summer schedule of Joseph picking me up from my house 2-3 times every week, driving over to Capp Smith Park, and him instructing me in open air preaching. To help me out more, Joseph introduced me to Way of the Master, where I literally devoured all the dvds he had lent me to watch. By the end of that summer, my boldness grew tremendously and any fears I had about evangelism lessened. Looking back, that particular summer would probably be the most profitable one I had ever experienced in my life...and when it was time for that summer to draw to a close, I felt God, through Joseph, had equipped me tremendously for the work he had in store for me.
So far, I believe this post was the most fun post I had the privilege to type up. Since the beginning of this post I knew I had to recount, chronologically, how God had transformed me from a shy, introverted Christian, to now a fire-breathing evangelist. Taking with me all the evangelistic experience I had aquired over that summer into my senior year at Fossil Ridge High School, I began my year with a loud "BANG!" My routine all year was to go to school either super early or stay after school super late just talking to people about sin, Hell, righteousness, Jesus, grace, repentance, and faith in Christ alone for salvation. By the end of that year I had garnered, by God's grace, a reputation for being a Christian evangelist by mostly every group and clique in the school it seemed like. I rejoiced that people I never really hung out with knew about me because of what I did, even if they heckled me a bit as I walked to my car! After graduating high school, I entered TCC where my repuation followed as I had done some campus evangelism. Right now, I am leading a group of evangelists to Southlake Townsquare every Saturday night, the group being comprised of people whether I am either decipling or who has had experience in evangelism, and just a few weeks ago I got a call from Joseph saying that Student Outreach Leadership had unanimously voted me into leadership for my first year up at Moody!
The road has been paved for me already and I am excited to be used by God to walk down this road and spread His Word. As I look back in time to where I was in that pit of depression, and where I am now, I praise God that I am now an ambassador of Christ. This post, as well as the previous two, were for the purpose of establishing backround information on Nick Romero, and allowing the reader to get a glimpse into my heart as merely a sinner saved by grace. I can't end on a better note as I am thinking about Philippians 3, which describes my new heart so so perfectly. There, Paul writes, "Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus" (3:12-14).
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Revolution of a Lifetime: Lost Sinner to Adored Son
Quite recently I have been trying to read through the entire Old Testament just in time for my Old Testament Survey class I'll be taking in the Fall up at Moody. A while ago there was a Psalm I read that really conveys my thankfulness to Yeshua for the salvation he granted me up in the mountains of Colorado in the year of 2007. This is but part of that psalm: "For the choir director. A Psalm of David. I waited patiently for the LORD; And He inclined to me and heard my cry. He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; Many will see and fear And will trust in the LORD..."(Psalm 40:1-3). For three years I was in a "pit" of depression, devoid of any hope whatsoever. For three years I searched for a purpose in life for Nick Romero, only (to recap from the previous blog) to come short of a true answer, even after those 4 guesses I came up with. Salvation came to me in a way I never expected, and that was through a youth retreat in another state I've never been to. I connected quickly with the youth at Cornerstone, their pastors, and a man by the name of Matthew Edwards (at the time, the youth leader of the church). I came back to Texas, not with just a more optimistic feeling in my life, not with a newly found psychological change in that brain of mine, but with salvation and an answer to my purpose...
One passage Pastor John went over with us was Philippians chapter 3. To this day, this chapter is one of my favorate chapters in all the New Testament because Paul explained that even after all the titles he plastered upon his name, he still counted all his fame as nothing in comparison for the sake of Christ (3:8---according to the King James Version, "dung"). This astounded my 16 year old brain at the time...He had fame, friends, prestige among anything else! He never came up short...but here was this man long ago who died writing to this church saying all that he attained in life is pure "dung" when it came to comparing all he had for to the privlege of knowing Christ. All my life I knew about the Law of God and what sin can do, but I never had the grace of God shown more vividly to me during that week...and this man named "Paul" praised God all throughout the New Testament, no matter to what church he was writing to...
I soon found myself back in Texas a new man. Sadly enough, I was never an original kinda dude, because my new purpose in life happens to be Paul's: "Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 3:13-14). Readers...to this day I cannot explain the joy I felt sometime that week. As mentioned before, I really did feel like I was in a pit of despair, until the Lord graciously pulled me out. Sometime during that week I experienced grace in a salvivic way...I experienced a revolution of a lifetime, where Christ saved Nick Romero...
Adventures soon followed after that blessed week, along with many new bonds with people and heartbreaks along the road alike. New passions, commitments, and dreams soon arose as I entered 17 years of age, yet my set of adventures did not cease there. I'm currently 19 and God is continually teaching me through new trials what it means to be a son of God...an ADORED son of God. SHALOM EVERYBODY!
One passage Pastor John went over with us was Philippians chapter 3. To this day, this chapter is one of my favorate chapters in all the New Testament because Paul explained that even after all the titles he plastered upon his name, he still counted all his fame as nothing in comparison for the sake of Christ (3:8---according to the King James Version, "dung"). This astounded my 16 year old brain at the time...He had fame, friends, prestige among anything else! He never came up short...but here was this man long ago who died writing to this church saying all that he attained in life is pure "dung" when it came to comparing all he had for to the privlege of knowing Christ. All my life I knew about the Law of God and what sin can do, but I never had the grace of God shown more vividly to me during that week...and this man named "Paul" praised God all throughout the New Testament, no matter to what church he was writing to...
I soon found myself back in Texas a new man. Sadly enough, I was never an original kinda dude, because my new purpose in life happens to be Paul's: "Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 3:13-14). Readers...to this day I cannot explain the joy I felt sometime that week. As mentioned before, I really did feel like I was in a pit of despair, until the Lord graciously pulled me out. Sometime during that week I experienced grace in a salvivic way...I experienced a revolution of a lifetime, where Christ saved Nick Romero...
Adventures soon followed after that blessed week, along with many new bonds with people and heartbreaks along the road alike. New passions, commitments, and dreams soon arose as I entered 17 years of age, yet my set of adventures did not cease there. I'm currently 19 and God is continually teaching me through new trials what it means to be a son of God...an ADORED son of God. SHALOM EVERYBODY!
In The Beginning...4 Guesses Were Made
In the beginning, there was God, the creator of time itself...this is part 1 of my testimony of how I came to know my Lord Yeshua...
I was born December 10th, 1990 in Northridge, California. God has already given me, at the time, two older brothers, a mother, and a father I barely knew about. My father died when I was real young, which, I would say, threw my brothers into a sea of depression, drawing them close to gang vilence in my hometown of Simi Valley, California. Most of the time it was just my mother and myself alone because my brothers were doing time in "juvi." When I was six, my mother remarried to another man named Tim: I would say my life's biggest antagonist, despite the many valuable things he taught me in life (i.e. Calvinism). One time when I was 11 I went to the movies with my mother and one of my brothers to see a movie by the title, "Left Behind." This would soon be the springboard of the work God had in store for me, as I was constantly afraid of being "left behind."
When I was 14, I began asking the big questions like, "What is my purpose in life?" Being a chubby kid all through my childhood, I never understood what it was like to be the "cool kid" of the group. Depression and anxiety started to kick in here as I rarely made friends, let alone played outside. At 15 years of age my mother accepted a job offer, which led my family to relocate from our comfortabkle home in Simi Valley to the very much warm climate area of Fort Worth, Texas. The transition was rough for me, at this time being 235 lbs and entering high school as a freshman. Meeting some good friends finally, I began to lose weight as I played with the neighborhood kids in our new housing development. Still, the big question remained in my heart: "What is the purpose of my life?" As I began my search for the answer, I came up with guesses...4 of them to be exact. At first I though my purpose was literally to serve my friends...how stupid I was because that only caused me more pain. My next guess came during the summer after my freshman year in high school as I got into wrestling. I thought my purpose was to serve my team and to excel in sports, and for a while, it helped me so much! Here I was, 180 lbs, having lost 50-something lbs over break, and finally fitting into a group I can now call my own! Self-esteem and courage grew...for a while that is. Looking back, I should've known that nobody can ever have everlasting peace without the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus.
Breaking off for a bit on this chronological timeline of my testimony, I started reading the Bible at a rate unheard of when it came to 13/14-year-old boys. Memorization of passages and church doctrines sky-rocketed off the charts as I memorized for the sole purpose of people 3 times my age praising me for my knowledge at church. Christianity became so legalistic as I crammed Bible chapter after Bible chapter in my head. I hated church...I hated youth groups...As I read the Bible more and more I began asking myself, "Where is the love in church?" All throughout my life I've had so many bad experiences with youth groups as they were either too seeker-friendly, or nobody ever even came up to talk to me and introduce themselves...As said before, I hated church with a passion...
In the beginning of my sophmore year, I met a 17-year-old girl by the name of Rhea Souder, and her and I became very, very close friends. At the time my family had found a small Baptist church, only to be turned off by it to find another church. Now, if it wasn't for the liberty that they gave me to stay at Landmark Baptist Church, Rhea would've never had the impact she did in my life. I could honestly say that she was like a character out of a fairytale untold, unread, and unwritten...over time, I felt special as I was her story's only reader. Looking back, she was strong as any warrior going through life, yet gentle as a small girl. There were times when she would even call me up crying over the phone over some particular situation she was going through. Everytime we talked overthe phone, our conversations lasted from 2-4 hours each night, allowing us to wake up for school groggy the following morning each and every time. To even try to describe her personality would be a challenge. Nevertheless, I was 15 years old and in love. Meeting her allowed me to make my third guess of what my life's purpose was: "To be there for Rhea whenever."
As mentioned before, we became close...close enough to even call each other "little brother" and "big sister." As I cotinued to be a part of Rhea's life, my life became so complicated. Wrestling was pointless to me now because all I wanted to do was be with Rhea. We got to a point where she began telling me of her past...unrated. I felt so privlidged to uncover the secrets of her life I was "assured" by my own deceitful heart that I was going to spend the rest of my life with her...Now it was time for God to usher me into the beginning of His plan for me...
During the summer of my sophmore year I was invited over Rhea's for the weekend (she lived in Granbury, TX). Truthfully, at heart I am a headcase, as out of my own depression, emotional-clinginess, and anxiety I started a fight over pointless issues with Rhea. After that weekend I returned home and over the phone she revealed she couldn't deal with my emotional-chaotic self, and that we should back off from each other...Depression rose, bursting out like a hot-spring. I soon became suicidal and prayed that God would take my life away. "What was my purose exactly!?" My fourth guess was: "I had none..."
"Where was God?" "Did He really love me?" "Where did it say in the Bible that He saved Nick Romero?" "Does He want me to stay depressed?" These are but a fistful of questions I had for myself and God...if He heard me. My depression became so evident, especially when I broke down in front of my own parents, that they signed me up for THEIR church's youth retreat...At the time, I stil hated church and youth groups, but I also wanted to leave Texas. The retreat was up in Colorado in a cabin. At this point, I'd take any detour out of my life, so I chose to go..."Where was God exactly?" In the beginning...4 guesses were made...
I was born December 10th, 1990 in Northridge, California. God has already given me, at the time, two older brothers, a mother, and a father I barely knew about. My father died when I was real young, which, I would say, threw my brothers into a sea of depression, drawing them close to gang vilence in my hometown of Simi Valley, California. Most of the time it was just my mother and myself alone because my brothers were doing time in "juvi." When I was six, my mother remarried to another man named Tim: I would say my life's biggest antagonist, despite the many valuable things he taught me in life (i.e. Calvinism). One time when I was 11 I went to the movies with my mother and one of my brothers to see a movie by the title, "Left Behind." This would soon be the springboard of the work God had in store for me, as I was constantly afraid of being "left behind."
When I was 14, I began asking the big questions like, "What is my purpose in life?" Being a chubby kid all through my childhood, I never understood what it was like to be the "cool kid" of the group. Depression and anxiety started to kick in here as I rarely made friends, let alone played outside. At 15 years of age my mother accepted a job offer, which led my family to relocate from our comfortabkle home in Simi Valley to the very much warm climate area of Fort Worth, Texas. The transition was rough for me, at this time being 235 lbs and entering high school as a freshman. Meeting some good friends finally, I began to lose weight as I played with the neighborhood kids in our new housing development. Still, the big question remained in my heart: "What is the purpose of my life?" As I began my search for the answer, I came up with guesses...4 of them to be exact. At first I though my purpose was literally to serve my friends...how stupid I was because that only caused me more pain. My next guess came during the summer after my freshman year in high school as I got into wrestling. I thought my purpose was to serve my team and to excel in sports, and for a while, it helped me so much! Here I was, 180 lbs, having lost 50-something lbs over break, and finally fitting into a group I can now call my own! Self-esteem and courage grew...for a while that is. Looking back, I should've known that nobody can ever have everlasting peace without the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus.
Breaking off for a bit on this chronological timeline of my testimony, I started reading the Bible at a rate unheard of when it came to 13/14-year-old boys. Memorization of passages and church doctrines sky-rocketed off the charts as I memorized for the sole purpose of people 3 times my age praising me for my knowledge at church. Christianity became so legalistic as I crammed Bible chapter after Bible chapter in my head. I hated church...I hated youth groups...As I read the Bible more and more I began asking myself, "Where is the love in church?" All throughout my life I've had so many bad experiences with youth groups as they were either too seeker-friendly, or nobody ever even came up to talk to me and introduce themselves...As said before, I hated church with a passion...
In the beginning of my sophmore year, I met a 17-year-old girl by the name of Rhea Souder, and her and I became very, very close friends. At the time my family had found a small Baptist church, only to be turned off by it to find another church. Now, if it wasn't for the liberty that they gave me to stay at Landmark Baptist Church, Rhea would've never had the impact she did in my life. I could honestly say that she was like a character out of a fairytale untold, unread, and unwritten...over time, I felt special as I was her story's only reader. Looking back, she was strong as any warrior going through life, yet gentle as a small girl. There were times when she would even call me up crying over the phone over some particular situation she was going through. Everytime we talked overthe phone, our conversations lasted from 2-4 hours each night, allowing us to wake up for school groggy the following morning each and every time. To even try to describe her personality would be a challenge. Nevertheless, I was 15 years old and in love. Meeting her allowed me to make my third guess of what my life's purpose was: "To be there for Rhea whenever."
As mentioned before, we became close...close enough to even call each other "little brother" and "big sister." As I cotinued to be a part of Rhea's life, my life became so complicated. Wrestling was pointless to me now because all I wanted to do was be with Rhea. We got to a point where she began telling me of her past...unrated. I felt so privlidged to uncover the secrets of her life I was "assured" by my own deceitful heart that I was going to spend the rest of my life with her...Now it was time for God to usher me into the beginning of His plan for me...
During the summer of my sophmore year I was invited over Rhea's for the weekend (she lived in Granbury, TX). Truthfully, at heart I am a headcase, as out of my own depression, emotional-clinginess, and anxiety I started a fight over pointless issues with Rhea. After that weekend I returned home and over the phone she revealed she couldn't deal with my emotional-chaotic self, and that we should back off from each other...Depression rose, bursting out like a hot-spring. I soon became suicidal and prayed that God would take my life away. "What was my purose exactly!?" My fourth guess was: "I had none..."
"Where was God?" "Did He really love me?" "Where did it say in the Bible that He saved Nick Romero?" "Does He want me to stay depressed?" These are but a fistful of questions I had for myself and God...if He heard me. My depression became so evident, especially when I broke down in front of my own parents, that they signed me up for THEIR church's youth retreat...At the time, I stil hated church and youth groups, but I also wanted to leave Texas. The retreat was up in Colorado in a cabin. At this point, I'd take any detour out of my life, so I chose to go..."Where was God exactly?" In the beginning...4 guesses were made...
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